"What do you want for your birthday?"

Do people really expect you to answer that question truthfully? I mean I love my few friends I really do and honesty is everything to me but... Over the past 6 years I've learned what friendship is but it sure as hell doesn't involve being honest about what I really want for my birthday (Marc Jacobs sage leather hobo, a new i Pod, a trip to Sant Tropez, YSL trench coat, leather hoodie-jacket, Ferragamo loafers, Morrissey tickets, Unloveable on LP, Kat Von D session, a paint job for my car, etc...) . If I told people when they asked me (as Monica did today) what I really wanted for my birthday they'd probably tell me to get the fuck outta town. So please don't even ask. Don't get me shit, really. I want laughter on my birthday. This year has been a little stressful so I can use a good laugh. Tonight I had a few courtesy of D.L. Hughley on HBO. ANYWAY...
I am a product of the 80's, I am a consuming jerk. I always had dreams of big gift boxes and being plesantly surprised. My parents didn't understand that my siblings and I were living in a time where we were surrounded by kids who had cool disney themed birthday parties/sleep-overs, friends over for dinner, peer pressure, Bop and Big Bopper, Silver Spoon dreams, aspirations of being a Cosby kid, dreams of walking the Just Say No parade with Nancy Reagan and Punky Brewster. For my parents it was always easier to give me 50bucks on my birthday and buy me a cake from the Chinese bakery than tolerate any kids that weren't theirs in their home.
My parents threw me 1 birthday party and when my parents threw my siblings and I parties we'd be excited until we realized the only ones having fun were the grown ups. Oh, but on my 11th birthday I was living in Perris CA. & at the time my cousin Mayra (who also happened to go to school with me) was at my house and my mom made this cool dinner. After we ate she told me that she hadn't gotten paid yet so she could either give me 10 dollars now or if I waited she would give me 50. I took the ten. I took the 10, and Mayra and I walked over to a music store that was 2 blocks away and there it was. The first Color Me Badd tape. I bought that for 8 bucks then treated my cousin to a Coke and Snickers bar and we practically ran home to listen to I Wanna Sex You Up about 1000 times. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I would have waited, perhaps I would have been surprised. Being surprised is a great feeling, so for once I'd like to be surprised if anyone out there really is getting me anything. My parents never surprise me (pleasantly, walking in on them buck ass ne'kkid was a whole other kind of surprise), Jesse hates to be surprised and to surprise, & my friends work too hard to plan a surprise. I have realized that after 22, gifts don't matter anymore, they really don't. If I want anything bad enough I usually buy it for myself. Last year was pretty cool because my friends & family joined me at the park for my birthday and I had a good time just having them there, and it was a surprise that so many people showed up. This year I want my friends to join me at the Detour festival or breakfast the following day. So on my 27th I want good friends, good food, and good music.
I can't wait to see the Comedians of Comedy, Kinky, & Justice. Anyway, I gotta go drop a surprise in the crapper. Good night.