More birthday fun. if the past 2 weeks are any indication of what 27 is going to be then that's pretty damn good. This past weekend mr. eddie garcia put together an enchanted evening to celebrate his birthday and the other october babies (jesse, his friend lorie, me & I also celebrated for JR. who was not there but I thought of him and his birthday as well) at club 33 at Disneyland with the help of his friend eric. Since thursday I had noticed that my depression and anxiety was coming back and i felt really out of it for the entire week, so Disneyland sounded kinda good but in my fucked up serotonin-less world being there was kinda warped. I made the best of it and thanks to Jesse, Raul, Stacey, Kelly, Vanessa, Eddie, Elvia (who I had a pretty good talk about law school and budget cuts with), and eddie's friends I mustered up energy and focus and made it through the day and night.
I have been battling this monster that many people battle for over 5 years (3 w/drugs, and 2 w/o). I have become a lot better at getting by with it, but getting by is just not enough. Last night I went to barnes and nobles and bought The Autobiography of a Yogi, and Healing Affirmations. After reading 1/3 of Healing Affirmations I felt a lot better. It's really a thing of mind over matter but sometimes my mind feels like its literally away from my being and it's tough. But anyway that book opened my eyes to the obvious, which is the power of positive thought. I really have to practice what I preach tho. It's going to take baby steps but if I can get through this crappy feeling/mental state I can do anything. For the most part all is well, but if you see me when I'm down please help a sista get up.
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